Wednesday, April 04, 2007

WHO WE ARE IS THE SUM TOTAL OF ALL OUR EXPERIENCES

One thing I've learned over my lifetime - who we are is the sum total of all our experiences, whether we label them "good," "bad" or "indifferent." If we are much more than meets the eye, if there is more to this life than we can comprehend, a field of Faith, a grand design that is hidden from us, all those experiences are not for naught. If, as I believe, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience, then ALL experiences are for our growing benefit.

It's hard, I know, to look at situations that are painful, situations where someone has hurt us, physically, sexually, emotionally or spiritually, and bless that person and what happened. And that is exactly what we (and by this I mean I) must do. In fact, I am re-writing what I just wrote:

One thing I've learned over my lifetime - who I am is the sum total of all my experiences, whether I label them "good," "bad" or "indifferent." If I am much more than meets the eye, if there is more to this life than I can comprehend, a field of Faith, a grand design that is hidden from me, all those experiences are not for naught. If, as I believe, I am not a human being having a spiritual experience, I am a spiritual being having a human experience, then ALL experiences are for my growing benefit.It's hard, I know, to look at situations that are painful, situations where someone has hurt me, physically, sexually, emotionally or spiritually, and bless that person and what happened. That feels better to me - it's more personal - as this is a personal belief and statement - although I invite you to try it on for size.

This means that I bless every situation and person that comes into my life - which includes the traffic jam, the missed turn and detour, the blessing of flowers, art, awareness, the challenging relationship with someone, the experiences in my youth, teen-hood, young adulthood, all my previous relationships and marriages, lovers and friends. It means I bless those who have been malicious to me, who have come to me meaning harm. And I would go further to say something extreme here, and very personal, which you may not YET agree with - it means (to me) that I bless every situation and person who has come my way - even, theoretically, those situations that might include rape, murder, incest, someone causing someone I love (or myself) physical harm, dread disease and terminal illness, not just on a personal scale - on a larger scale as well. I have the faith that I am not put into a situation or given a trial without the resources to handle it - and the major resource I have is my faith in God. My trust is that there is a function bigger than myself - and that I'm here to learn soul lessons. Of course, I need to conduct myself in a way that is gracious and full of Grace. I need to continue to acknowledge the places where there is Love shining through, even in the darkest hour. I need to revisit and hold my hand out, I need to ask for help - both on a human level and a spiritual level. I do not need an explanation - I do not need to know it all - I just need to trust, to lean into my faith, to sit with the inner knowing that there is much more at work than just my little life. And that in my little life, I can have a positive effect on all those around me, just as they all positively effect me.

We are each other. And in stepping into forgiveness, self-forgiveness especially, loving each other, cultivating Higher Love, mirroring the Divine, we awaken the best in ourselves and the best in each other. I am not my circumstances. You are not your history, and yet we are all that, and more. I will say it again - I am the sum total of all my experiences. What a blessing!!!

from Karla

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